I've been thinking about this issue for a while now, and I might as well blog about it so I can move on and blog something different down the line...
For the past several years I have heard a lot about how men in our society struggle with identity. Some of the opinions I have seen blame popular culture for instilling a sense of false identity in young boys (e.g. you are only important if you have monetary success, be tough at all costs, etc...), others attribute the lack of identity to the massive amount of fatherless homes that exist today. I'm no expert, but I tend to agree that growing up without a father would probably mess your sense of identity up quite a bit.
Don't get me wrong, I haven't had a perfect relationship with my own father, but he was always there to tell me that he was proud of me, to tell me that he thought I had what it takes to succeed in this life. Whatever problems our relationship might have, I know that his words on this issue will stick with me for the rest of my life, and for that I am so thankful.
In case you're wondering what brought on this train of thought, I was in a store a week or two ago and saw a short scene from the movie Michael Clayton. I don't particularly like the movie as a whole, but there is one scene that I think is amazing. (This is where I would post a youtube link of the scene, but sadly it has a few... non-choice words in it, so I've just included an edited version of the dialogue below. Michael is the dad, Henry is the son.)
Henry Clayton: What?
Michael Clayton: Your uncle Timmy, and I mean this, on his best day, is never as tough as you. I'm not talking about crying or drugs or anything like that. I'm talking about in his heart. In his heart. Do you understand me? And all this charming crap. This Big Tim, Uncle Boss crap... and I know you love him and I know why... but when you see him like that you don't have to worry... because that's not how it's going to be for you. You're not going to be one of these people who goes through life wondering why crap keeps falling out of the sky around them. I know that. I know it. OK?
[Henry nods]
Michael Clayton: I see it every time I look at you. I see it right now. I don't know where you got it from, but you got it. OK?
Michael Clayton: [phone rings] Hold on...
The dialogue doesn't really hit home as well as the scene itself, but oh well.
I'm just glad that my dad is one who was willing to tell me I have what it takes. Thanks dad.
1 comment:
I played with the idea of writing a book once, and I still may try some day. One of the subjects I intended to cover was masculine identity.
I had a character, James, an ex-engineering professor (imaginitive eh?) who, after being denied tenure at UT, buys some land in a windy part of Texas and builds a wind farm. But since his father was a farmer, he has these notions of what a man is: he wears boots, drinks his coffee black, etc.. Hey, a wind farm is still a farm, right?
My point is that identity, particularly masculine identity, is a topic of great significance in our culture today, and is worthy blog material. Keep up the good posts.
PT
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