Identity

I've been thinking about this issue for a while now, and I might as well blog about it so I can move on and blog something different down the line...

For the past several years I have heard a lot about how men in our society struggle with identity. Some of the opinions I have seen blame popular culture for instilling a sense of false identity in young boys (e.g. you are only important if you have monetary success, be tough at all costs, etc...), others attribute the lack of identity to the massive amount of fatherless homes that exist today. I'm no expert, but I tend to agree that growing up without a father would probably mess your sense of identity up quite a bit.

Don't get me wrong, I haven't had a perfect relationship with my own father, but he was always there to tell me that he was proud of me, to tell me that he thought I had what it takes to succeed in this life. Whatever problems our relationship might have, I know that his words on this issue will stick with me for the rest of my life, and for that I am so thankful.

In case you're wondering what brought on this train of thought, I was in a store a week or two ago and saw a short scene from the movie Michael Clayton. I don't particularly like the movie as a whole, but there is one scene that I think is amazing. (This is where I would post a youtube link of the scene, but sadly it has a few... non-choice words in it, so I've just included an edited version of the dialogue below. Michael is the dad, Henry is the son.)

Henry Clayton: What?
Michael Clayton: Your uncle Timmy, and I mean this, on his best day, is never as tough as you. I'm not talking about crying or drugs or anything like that. I'm talking about in his heart. In his heart. Do you understand me? And all this charming crap. This Big Tim, Uncle Boss crap... and I know you love him and I know why... but when you see him like that you don't have to worry... because that's not how it's going to be for you. You're not going to be one of these people who goes through life wondering why crap keeps falling out of the sky around them. I know that. I know it. OK?
[Henry nods]
Michael Clayton: I see it every time I look at you. I see it right now. I don't know where you got it from, but you got it. OK?
Michael Clayton: [phone rings] Hold on...

The dialogue doesn't really hit home as well as the scene itself, but oh well.

I'm just glad that my dad is one who was willing to tell me I have what it takes. Thanks dad.

Unfair

Sometimes I think that "Life's not fair" could almost be my mantra. I've had a number of "unfair" situations come up over the course of my (admittedly short) lifespan and it seems that as soon as one of them is nearing a resolution another one pops up. I'm not talking about some silly little "Poor me I didn't get the video game I wanted for my birthday" situations either, they are more like "I didn't get into the college I wanted to go to even though I had met every criteria for admissions ever published and had been recruited by them" kind of thing.

The good news is that things always end up being for the best. I (usually) come out of these situations more mature, more well rounded, and in a deeper spiritual place because of the adversity. If I had not come to Baylor I would have missed out on a lot of really great opportunities and my life would be completely different right now.

For some reason, that still does not make everything alright in the moment, right as the perceived "unfair" thing has happened. I know that what happened today isn't the end of the world, but I still let it ruin at least a couple of hours of my day. Maybe I've got some more growing to do...


"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28

Inspiration

My post about LEGOs inspired me to stop by the LEGO store that had recently opened at the mall near my apartment in Houston. They have a wall of bricks there that you can select different pieces from and then put into a cup. Once the cup is full you pay a set price for all of the bricks in the cup. Being the engineering student I am I couldn't help but think of the most efficient method of packing bricks into the cup, but I gave up about half way through and just started trying to fill the thing up with bricks I thought looked interesting. Long story short ....

Meet Frank the duck and his remote cotrolled propellor powered car.

I have no idea how often I'm going to have time to play with LEGOs this semester (judging from my first two days, not too much), but it is still fun to have them on my desk.

Excuse me while I go add wings to that car....

Learning me some knowledge

Classes began today at Baylor University. For the first time in three years I feel like I really have a good idea of what to expect out of most of my classes and professors. My schedule is far from what I would really like it to be, (too spread out) but I'm sure I'll make due and figure out a way to use my breaks productively.

Another first for me is the feeling that Baylor's Engineering school is growing too much. I came to this school precisely because of the fact that it was small and I had a good chance of getting to know all of my professors. This fall, our department has somewhere around 216 freshmen and I have to wonder if we can really support that number of students. We don't have to facilities for that many people, much less the professors to make small class sizes a reality. It seems that our department's strengths have suddenly become our weaknesses. I'm worried that there are going to be a lot of growing pains for the department in the next several years, but hopefully my class won't have to be the one that ends up getting the short end of the stick.

Getting down with the sickness

Today is the first day of my last weekend before school starts... and I'm sick. I'm not really sure what I have, but for some reason my sinuses have all gone crazy and I'm going back and forth between being congested and draining like crazy. Maybe it's the pollen in Waco, or maybe I'm just tired from a long, fun, and exhausting summer, but whatever the reason I am totally out of it. Hopefully I'll still be able to get a few things done today.

Thoughts on engineering (Part 1)

Tonight I took a break from unpacking all of my worldly possessions to have dinner with one of my friends and his dad. (I'll call him Mr. S) Mr. S is an engineer who works with the military on a number of various projects. I really enjoy getting to talk to professional engineers about their jobs, and during dinner Mr. S talked about how the military had started trying to get design input from former aerospace engineers from Boeing in an effort to gain a fresh perspective on some of the problems that have come up in Afghanistan and Iraq. At one point during the conversation we talked about how even though some of the solutions that had been thought up were great by aerospace standards they did not even come close to being viable answers to the problems that the soldiers were having on the ground.

I think it is fascinating that even though there are tons of similarities across all of the engineering related industries there are still such large differences. It can be intimidating at times to think that I might get stuck in some branch of engineering that I am not particularly interested in, but in the end I really just look forward to diving in head first and finding out what makes me tick.

Rainy Car Wash

My car has been through a bit of trauma in the last few days, so this afternoon when my younger sister asked me if I wanted to wash my car with her I figured it was a pretty good idea. We started out on the right track with our bucket full of soapy water, a few rags, a brush to clean my wheels, and the hose. Even the weather seemed like it was going to cooperate with us as we started working. Then, after we had finished up the passenger side of the car it started to drizzle. A few moments later it started to rain a tad harder. By that time I felt like we might as well finish the job since the car would look better once we were done even if it did keep on raining.

My car. Clean but still wet from the rain.

Throughout the rest of the job I could not help but think about how so much of life is just like that car wash. Often times I find myself working toward a goal for a long time only to take a step back and feel like my work was all for nothing. I've had this expereince with things as big as sin issues in my life to as small as studying for a quiz in a class. In the end things usually tend to work out if I persevere though. I'm so thankful that I serve a God who is able to break through my feelings of inadequacy, and I know that with Him life does not have to be like washing a car in the rain.